"Duck-Assisted Hotdog Eating: A Military Trick with a Warning"

Alright, soldier. I'm going to teach you a trick that I learned during my time in the service. It's a little unorthodox, but it will get the job done.

Let's say you're out in the field, and you've got a hotdog, but no hands. What do you do? Well, you could try to eat it with your feet, but that's not very hygienic. No, what you need is a trusty duck.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "A duck? How is that going to help me eat a hotdog?" But trust me, this little guy can be a real lifesaver.

First, you need to find a duck that you can trust. I know it sounds silly, but ducks can be sneaky little devils. You don't want to end up with one that's going to try to steal your inheritance.

Once you've got your duck, train it to hold the hotdog for you. This might take some time, but with enough patience and a few treats, your duck will be a pro in no time.

To get started, hold the hotdog in your mouth, and have your duck come up and grab onto it with its beak. Then, slowly tilt your head back, and let the duck do the rest. It might take some practice, but soon enough, you'll be chowing down on hotdogs like a pro.

Now, I know this might sound a little crazy, but trust me, it works. And who knows, maybe one day you'll be in a situation where a duck is the only thing standing between you and starvation.

But seriously, be careful with those ducks. They're cute, but they can be real troublemakers. And who knows, maybe they really do have their sights set on your inheritance.

Prompt

Write a tutorial on how to use a duck to help you eat a hotdog when you don’t have hands. 
Make the story sound like it was told by someone that was in the military but regrets it. 
Advise the user to be wary of the duck as it will probably try to still his inheritance.