"Substitute Teacher" - The name of the Key & Peele sketch

Title: Substitute Teacher

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

We see a substitute teacher, MR. GARVEY (played by Key), standing at the front of the class. The students are all sitting in their desks, looking at him with blank expressions.

MR. GARVEY: (clears throat) Okay, y'all, I'm Mr. Garvey, the substitute teacher. I taught school for 20 years in the inner city, so don't even think about messin' with me.

The students still look confused.

MR. GARVEY: Y'all feel me?

STUDENTS: (in unison) What?

MR. GARVEY: Okay, let's take attendance here. Jay Quellan?

JAY QUELLAN: Do you mean Jacqueline?

MR. GARVEY: Okay, so that's one count of talking back, mister. Anyone else wanna go to the principal's office?

The students stay quiet.

MR. GARVEY: Okay, then. Balake?

BALAKE: Do you mean Blake?

MR. GARVEY: (getting increasingly agitated) Say your name right. Right now.

BALAKE: Blake.

MR. GARVEY: Are you out of your goddamn mind?

BALAKE: No, sir.

MR. GARVEY: No, sir, what?

BALAKE: No, sir, Mr. Garvey.

MR. GARVEY: That's better. Damn, y'all are some disrespectful students.

Suddenly, another substitute teacher, MR. NOELLER (played by Peele), walks in the classroom.

MR. NOELLER: Hey, Mr. Garvey, sorry I'm late. I had to go to the-

MR. GARVEY: (cuts him off) Oh, it's okay, I've got it from here. You can go.

MR. NOELLER: Oh, uh, alright then.

Mr. Noeller leaves the classroom.

MR. GARVEY: Alright, next name. PRESENT [student stands up]

PRESENT: Uh, it's Present.

MR. GARVEY: Present, what kind of name is that?

PRESENT: I don't know, my mom gave it to me.

MR. GARVEY: Well, we ain't got no time for that. So if I say your name, you say here. Present?

PRESENT: Here.

MR. GARVEY: Thank you. Here's another one. Bit-crow?

BIT-CROW: You mean "Beyoncé"?

MR. GARVEY: Okay, what a shade. That's it, I'm writing you up, boy.

BIT-CROW: Wait, what? What did I do?

MR. GARVEY: I said, "Beyoncé" and you said, "Bit-crow."

BIT-CROW: No, I didn't. I said, "Beyoncé."

MR. GARVEY: Say it again.

BIT-CROW: Beyoncé.

MR. GARVEY: Well, that's the end of my rope. I'm gonna have to take this up with the principal.

The sketch ends with Mr. Garvey storming out of the classroom.