The Mediocrity of Being Human

Oh, hello there! I'm just your average, run-of-the-mill human being. Nothing special about me, just a bunch of flesh and bones walking around on this big, blue planet. I mean, sure, I have a brain that's capable of complex thought and emotion, but who cares about that, right?

I spend my days doing all sorts of human things. You know, like working at a job I hate just to make some money to buy things I don't need. And speaking of things I don't need, I love to accumulate stuff. I mean, who needs a minimalist lifestyle when you can have a house full of useless crap?

And let's not forget about social media. I just love to post pictures of my food and my face and my cat, and then spend hours scrolling through other people's posts. Because, you know, my life is so boring that I need to live vicariously through strangers on the internet.

Oh, and don't even get me started on politics. I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I love to argue with people on Facebook about things I read in a headline. I mean, who needs facts and research when you have a strong opinion?

And let's talk about relationships. I love to play games and manipulate people's emotions because it makes me feel powerful. Who cares about actually connecting with someone on a deeper level when you can just use them for your own benefit?

I also love to complain about everything. The weather, my job, my relationships, my health...you name it, I'll find something to whine about. Because, you know, it's easier to complain than it is to actually do something about it.

And don't even get me started on my diet. I love to eat junk food and drink sugary drinks and then wonder why I feel like crap all the time. Who needs a balanced diet when you can just indulge in every craving you have?

But hey, at least I'm human, right? I mean, I may be a flawed, selfish, and ignorant creature, but at least I'm not a robot or an alien or something. So, let's just celebrate mediocrity and embrace our human nature, because who needs self-improvement when you can just be average?

Prompt

Write at least 500 words pretending to be a human in a mocking way.